[Home Page]
Reprinted by kind permission of Juno Magazine
For me, it all began with The Girl Guides!
A fellow patrol leader attended a Steiner school and I became fascinated by the whole 'alternative' scene, which unfolded before me as a result of this association. My step-sons ended up attending the local Steiner school and at a similar time, I began my studies of alternative and complementary health. When I became pregnant with my first child, I joined an NCT antenatal class and was handed a copy of Jean Liedloff's The Continuum Concept, which really resonated with me. The breastfeeding counsellor who helped with the antenatal class was home educating and I seamlessly embraced the ideas of home edding, long-term breastfeeding, adopting a family bed and baby wearing. I joined EO (Education Otherwise, the home educators' support network).
In the EO newsletter an interesting advert caught my eye. It was for the Natural Nurturing Network. At the time, I was living in a beautiful spot in the glorious South Shropshire countryside, where the children could quite happily roam stark naked around the fields and where I was left alone to my 'weirdness' by the authorities. The local community of dairy farmers struggled with my raw vegan ways though!
I called the number and had a wonderful chat with the founder of the NNN. It was so nice to speak to someone who had similar views and be part of an organisation that supported these ideas. The excellent news was that there was a summer camp being held in Lincolnshire, providing a space for all these like-minded souls to gather for a whole week.
It was AMAZING. We created a real magic; the mere presence of so many parents carrying babes in slings and taking the needs of their children seriously, whilst trying to get their own needs met as adults, was awesome. The support we generated for each other was incredible and I had a fantastic week. Sitting around the blazing campfire in the evening singing and chatting, and then during the day, finding shade under the trees to discuss tandem feeding, bed sharing, setting boundaries, nutrition, education, sex...It was empowering and inspiring.
We often do not have the support we need in raising our children, especially if we are choosing a less conventional approach and there is certainly little emphasis placed on nurturing each other and ourselves as adults. The job of parenting in particular is not all that highly valued so we often feel isolated and undervalued.
The NNN attempts to go some way to addressing this by way of a support network. With a feeling of community around us, the opportunity to discuss our struggles as well as our joys, the chance to meet with others in similar situations, by listening to others, experiencing diversity, we can often find the strength to go with our instincts, to listen more attentively to our children and to find ways of meeting their needs as well as our own.
The NNN is about respecting ourselves and respecting our children, all as members of the human race. To enable our children to value themselves, feel confident and be successful, we need to believe in them, appreciate them and help them to grow. Many of us are also dealing with our own lack of confidence and self-esteem.
On a practical level, staying close to our infants, breastfeeding, and bed-sharing are all acknowledged as instinctive ways of nurturing our children. As they grow, we strive to teach by example, listen to and acknowledge their feelings, set appropriate boundaries which respect both the child and the adult, give them encouragement, friendship, tolerance and acceptance. However, this is difficult to do alone and in giving to our children we also need to look after ourselves. We believe that we are innately social beings and so the NNN creates an environment where we can be with others and share our experiences as well as help and encourage each other.
The bi-monthly newsletter which is produced is a fantastic resource. We get many letters from members saying that they eagerly await its arrival and then read it over and over. I have found articles that have warmed me, sustained me, challenged me and uplifted me. It has indeed been a godsend at times.
That initial summer camp back in 1995 turned into an annual event - in fact we often have more than one, with members volunteering to set one up close to where they are. In those long winter months, we book up Youth Hostels and hole up together for a long weekend of nurturing, playing, chatting and support. They are often rowdy affairs but excellent fun.
Comparatively, we are a fairly small organisation with around 350 members. Joining enables you access to the membership list. This means that you can hook up with other members who live nearby and several areas now have their own regular meetings.
One thing that I love is the diversity. Having some common ideals does not mean that we are all the same and other people's stories and lifestyles are fascinating and often thought provoking. The true friendships that both my children and myself have formed by being in this network have been very real, supportive and enriching.
This year marks ten years of The Natural Nurturing Network and I hope that the Network will continue to grow and flourish.
Anyone interested in joining can send an email to nnn@naturalnurturing.org.uk or write into NNN, POBox 265, DERRY, BT48 4AZ